


Love is a Prison

by RumbleFish14



Series: Cut Scenes [7]
Category: Shameless (US) RPF
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Behind the Scenes, Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Infidelity, Light Bondage, M/M, Prompt Fic, Secret Relationship, Sex Toys, Shameless, Sneaking Around, mosher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:09:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28362930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RumbleFish14/pseuds/RumbleFish14
Summary: As much as Noel and Cameron are in love and want to be together, Noel still can’t commit to him 100%. It’s the holiday season and Cameron is unsure if he will actually get to see his boyfriend, or if he will once again be left alone for the holidays
Relationships: Noel Fisher/Cameron Monaghan
Series: Cut Scenes [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1310828
Comments: 20
Kudos: 46





	Love is a Prison

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fic-bondage and Christmas lol which I love
> 
> Of course it’s late due to the holidays ❤️

Love is a Prison  
(oneshot)

“Will you just talk to me?” Cameron yelled as Noel all but ran away from him. They were on set, finished with one of their scenes and Noel had bolted as soon as possible. “Damn it.”

Noel didn’t stop, if anything he moved faster. The short ones were always fast. Cameron actually started jogging after him to keep up, weaving in and out of people and equipment until finally he caught up with him just as he was about to go into his trailer. He reached out and snagged Noel’s shirt and kept him from moving up another step.

“Just leave me alone.” Noel jerked away but not out of his grip.

Cameron held tighter. “You gonna tell me what this is all about or should I know already?”

“As if you didn’t know.”

“If I did, I’d be trying to make up for whatever the hell I’m supposed to make up for instead of running your ass down to find out.” Cameron snapped back, meeting his angry eyes. “Just tell me so I can fix it.”

A noise around them reminded them that they weren’t as alone as they felt. Sometimes they got so deep into each other...sexually and not sexually, that they forgot the rest of the world was watching them. They realized it at the same time this time and Noel nodded to his trailer and Cameron released his shirt and followed up after him, then shut and locked the door behind him. 

“So?” Cameron prompted when all Noel did was dig into his mini fridge for a drink and took a seat. 

“You were with her.” Noel said vaguely and lifted his eyebrows when Cameron tilted his head. “Lauren, you were with her for her birthday.”

“I told you I would be.” Cameron replied with a snappy tone. “Remember, I asked if you wanted to go and you said no. I had no choice but to go.”

“Why the fuck would I go out with you and her for her fucking birthday?”

“Because it was at Joshua Tree and it wasn’t just us, there was an entire group, not to mention all the other people there. You could have come and “accidentally” bumped into us and we could have hung out.”

Noel let out a hysterical sounding laugh. “Oh yeah, because that would be so fun for me. Watching you guys act like a happy couple and be the third wheel to it all.”

Cameron crossed his arms as his jaw clenched. “Well, it would have been nice to at least see you there. I can’t exactly get you alone anymore because SHE is always there.” 

They both knew SHE wasn’t Lauren.

Lauren’s birthday was last week and while he didn’t want to spend the entire day with her and her stupid friends, he didn’t have much of a choice. They took a few pictures, not together, and yet Noel still managed to think they were still a happy couple when they were far from it. Things had been tense between them over the Thanksgiving holiday. Lauren went to Florida and he spent the weekend alone, drinking, knowing Noel was with Layla. 

He invited Noel to go just so they could at least see each other that day. Even when they couldn’t touch or be there as a couple it was still better than not seeing him at all. And work did not count. They were different people there and under more scrutiny than in a casual setting. But Noel said no and blew him off and hadn’t talked to him for a few days. Now this. 

“Like you can blame it all on her.” Noel snapped back. “Lauren has been at your fucking place every damn day. She might as well live there. She’s getting in the way too, not just Layla.”

Cameron flinched at her name, he always did. 

“She’s my outlet when you blow me off.” Cameron sneered, knowing how mean it sounded by the look on his face. “If you didn’t blow me off, she wouldn’t always be around.”

Noel put his head in his hands and sighed. “I didn’t mean to blow you off for Thanksgiving. Layla made plans without telling me until that day. I couldn’t get out of it.”

That was easy to believe, she didn’t keep Noel in the loop very often and it would have been fine if Cameron hadn’t booked a place for them for the entire holiday weekend. It was away from LA, in Carmel, at the Tickle Pink Inn, a rather pricey hotel for just the two of them. He booked the room, packed his bags and made it there in time for Noel to back out and said he wasn’t coming. 

It hurt, fuck, did it hurt.

After that Cameron spent Lauren’s birthday with her and Noel was jealous. 

Now the Christmas holiday was coming up, as was their anniversary...if you could call it that, and Noel had yet to mention anything about either holiday. Cameron had a feeling he would spend both of those alone too with only a bottle of whiskey and his hand to keep him company. By the end, Mister Scrooge would have a better attitude about Christmas than he would. 

“Okay, what about Christmas? This is our last Christmas to have an excuse to be around each other. The show is ending. It’ll be over soon and this’ll never happen again.”Cameron asked and knew Noel didn’t have a plan by the look on his face. His heart gave a sharp pain. “Guess she gets that one too, right?”

“Cam,”

“I’m guessing that means our anniversary is fucked too then, hmm?” He didn’t wait for an answer and turned to leave. “This is fucking bullshit, Noel. What, you remember hers, do things with her but not with me and our anniversary? She gets Thanksgiving and Christmas and every other fucking day.”

Noel stood and it was his turn to take Cameron’s arm, preventing him from leaving. “Of course I want to see you. And I never said we couldn’t do anything. We just need to plan it out.”

Cameron shook off his hand, even when he longed to feel it all over his body. “Kinda running low on time. And I bet she’s already going to have your shit all planned out.”

“I want to spend it with you.” Noel insisted and risked rejection again and pushed his body against Cameron’s back, his arms winding around to his stomach. “I’ll try harder.”

Maybe he was soft, maybe he was a pushover...which wouldn’t solve anything. It wouldn’t help make his point, it wouldn’t make Noel work harder, but Cameron laid his hands over Noel’s and leaned back against him, returning the embrace. In return, Noel let out a shaky breath against his back and buried his face between his shoulder blades.

“I need to see you on Christmas.” Cameron whispered. “At least for a little while.”

“I know, I need to see you too.” Noel squeezed him. “Is she gonna be here?”

Cameron shook his head. “Told her I had plans with my mom but I don’t. I just said that so she wouldn’t be there.”

“I don’t know when it’ll be, definitely Christmas night, but I’ll be there, okay? I promise this time.” 

It wasn’t set in stone, which is what Cameron needed it to be but it was better than nothing. He could wind up alone again, heartbroken and alone. But if that happened again, after Noel promising, he knew he would have to start distancing himself from him, from them. It took two to have a relationship and so far he was the only one trying. 

“I wish you could stay.” 

Noel rose up on his toes and kissed the back of his neck. “I can’t, but I do anything we have time for. Whatever you want, just name it and I’ll do it.”

Cameron turned, winding his hands around Noel’s neck while his went under his shirt to his back. Goosebumps followed, prickling up his skin. “Anything?”

“Anything.” Noel moved closer until their chests touched. “Whatever time I have that I’m here, is yours. I won’t leave or answer my phone or anything.”

“Good.” Cameron leaned down, pushing their heads together first, then bumped their noses. “Now kiss me because we have to get back.”

Noel rose up on his toes to meet him for that kiss. His hands slid to his face, cradling it, caressing it. He tasted like bad coffee and fruity gum but he’d never tasted anything so good before. He hadn’t gotten this close to him in over two weeks, going on three and he was starving for attention.

“Fuck, I can’t wait until you’re mine.” Cameron said as he pulled back. 

Noel smirked. “It won’t be long now. I’ll call you tonight and we can talk for a bit, hmm?”

Their talks weren’t really talks. Okay, they were but it didn’t last the entire half hour they used, sometimes forty-five minutes. It was more like fifteen minutes of talking and the last half hour they used to get off, to search that itch until they had time to do it properly.

“Call me as soon as you can and I’ll be ready.” Cameron pulled him in for another kiss, only this one was harder, more desperate until he pulled away and left Noel standing at full attention. “Love you.”

Noel groaned. “Love you.”

**

Christmas Day

The wait had been brutal. Counting down the days until Christmas, until he could finally have Noel to himself for a few hours. 

He spent his time working as he was supposed to, then shopping for the holidays for his family and friends, Noel and Lauren. He cleaned his house way more times than was healthy. He put up his tree Christmas morning finally after waiting all month to do it, then more decorations littered his house to make it seem festive.

He didn’t care about Christmas this year or gifts or food. He only wanted one thing and he was getting it. Noel managed to get a few hours alone, sending her to meet up with her sister that came to town. It was going perfectly. 

But he was going out of his mind waiting. 

Night had fallen quickly after he calmed down and had a drink, then took a long, hot shower to relax. He turned off all the lights but the tree, then made a fire even though it was still around 65 degrees outside , it left a warm glow in both his living room and the bedroom. He wasn’t trying to set a romantic mood for this, but there was no way he could pass up the way Noel’s body looked in candlelight, or the glow from a fire. It was phenomenal. 

Now to wait. He paced and paced and checked his clothes and his breath and his hair for the millionth time. Noel would be too busy kissing him to notice but still, he was nervous. It had been months since they had sex, not including phone sex and he was a little concerned with what his friends at work called his “dad bod.” He gained some weight during quarantine ,slacked off at the gym and apparently it was noticeable but not in a bad way...according to them. 

Noel on the other hand seemed to be twice his normal size. He had certainly seen more gym time than he had and hadn’t succumbed to all the food he could have eaten during quarantine. He was stacked, his muscles firm and visible even under his clothing. And as much as Cameron personally liked him a little bigger, not fat but meaty, he was definitely into experiencing the new Noel. 

Cameron just poured another fifth of whiskey when the doorbell rang. He stopped, the rim against his bottom lip, his head pounding in his ears, his blood pumping down to his cock, getting him hard within seconds. He didn’t take that drink until the doorbell rang again. He swallowed it all, almost broke the glass as he set it down and tripped over his feet as he ran to the door.

He yanked it open without taking another second to calm himself so when it did open and Noel was standing there looking as perfect as he always did, he was a panting mess with a bulge in his slacks and couldn’t find a single word to say to him. 

“Thought maybe you forgot about me.” Noel said, smirking, then he glanced down and quirked an eyebrow playfully. “Guess you are happy to see me after all.”

Cameron glanced down and his slacks were showing little wet spots here and there from how ready he was. He had the mind to be embarrassed but couldn’t manage anything more than what he was already feeling. He just nodded and pulled him in by the front of his long sleeved shirt. Their bodies bumped together and he moved back out of the doorway and kicked it closed behind them.

“I can’t even tell you how happy I am right now.” Cameron slid his hand from Noel’s chest up to the side of his neck. “I haven’t felt you like this in months.”

Noel let out a shaky breath and wound his hands around Cameron’s body. “I know it’s been awhile. I’m sorry. But I’m here now.”

Now by his mouth, Cameron thumbed over Noel’s bottom one. “Yes, you are. You’re all mine.” Then he kissed him. It wasn’t just a hello kiss, but an ‘I miss you’ kiss and a ‘you’re mine’ kiss and everything else he could think of. He tasted his lips and his tongue played with Noel’s and he inhaled his moans like air and didn’t pull apart until the hand in the back of his hair pulled and he was being torn away. 

“Not wasting any time, hmm?”

Cameron shook his head, already chasing after his mouth, back and forth as Noel moved it just out of his reach with a smile. “We could sit around and talk about what we’ve been up to. We could talk about the weather, have a drink maybe, eat the food that I didn’t cook...or we can skip to what we both really want.” He paused to tease his lips against Noel’s, barely a rub of their lips. “I know that I’d rather be spending my time kissing every inch of you then talking about shit we both don’t care about.”

Noel swallowed thickly, breathing harshly through his nose. “I guess I’d rather do that then talk.”

With a grin, Cameron walked backwards slowly, pulling Noel along with him. “Did you have anything specific in mind?”

“I’m good with whatever you wanna give me.” Noel replied. He kicked off his shoes in the hallway, then lost the belt in the doorway. “I told you we can do anything you want.”

Now in the bedroom, Cameron released the hold he had on Noel’s shirt, then pointed at it with a finger. “I have a list in my head and the first thing is you need to get naked. Like right now.”

Without hesitation, something he didn’t expect, Noel reached down and lifted his shirt off, then immediately went to his jeans and had them down and kicked off before Cameron could track the movements with his eyes. All that hard, muscled skin was now visible, within his reach, unmarked by tattoos or Layla’s love marks, just perfect, soft skin. He wanted to devour him.

“What else is on this little list of yours?” Noel asked and held his eyes as he dropped his boxers to pool at his feet. 

“Fuck.” Cameron groaned, circling him like a predator, feeling like one with all the things he wanted to do to him floating around in his mind. He didn’t touch him, even when he wanted to, he just made a full circle and stopped. “Quite a bit, actually and I want to make sure you’re okay with it.”

Noel lifted his eyebrows, confused. “You make it sound like I need a safe word.”

Cameron grinned. “Oh, you might. See, I borrowed something from work.” He moved away from him and dug into the top drawer of his dresser and pulled out the bundle of black leather. “I was going to ask if we could use it over Thanksgiving, but you know how that turned out.”

When Noel didn’t answer, Cameron turned around with the ball gag in his hands and Noel’s eyes dropped to it and widened. Then he looked up at him. 

“Seriously?” Noel asked just to make sure and stepped close enough to feel the leather strap with his fingers. “You wanted to use this?”

Cameron hummed a little, then straightened out the device until it wasn’t in a tangled ball anymore. “At work I couldn’t stop looking at it. It felt like each time I turned around that damn thing was there and I just kept seeing you with it on and I’d get hard in seconds.”

Noel licked his lips, eying it once again. 

“So, I got home and googled it. You wouldn’t believe the things I saw, the images.” He shuddered when a surge of heat moved down his body. “It got me thinking about us working, and how you never shut up.”

“Excuse me?” Noel said, truly shocked.

Cameron smiled again. “We have to act like we are fighting and some of the shit we say gets nasty. Then I think about us actually fighting about dumb shit and how sometimes I wish you would just…” he exchanged the ball gag to one hand and put the other on Noel’s throat and grunted like he wanted to squeeze. “I want to fuck you. I just want to fuck you without you telling me why we can’t. I want you to be quiet and just take it and let me show you how bad I want you.”

Noel swayed a little, his head a little fuzzy. “You want to shut me up, is that it?”

“Oh, that’s it. I wanna be able to do whatever I want to you, all those things that drive you crazy, touch all those spots of yours,” he demonstrated by tightening his grip on his throat, squeezing just enough for Noel to moan against his palm. “I’ve been feeling a little out of control lately and want to be in control.”

“Of me, you mean?”

“Yes,” Cameron bent down to lick up one side of his jaw. “Which is why you need to tell me if that’s something you’re okay with, and if you’re not into it I totally understand.” He said into his ear and bit it. “I don’t want to scare you.”

With a soft moan, Noel tilted his head to give him more room. “I’ll admit I didn’t expect this from you. Toys never have been our thing and I know you like how much I talk.”

“I love when you talk to me.” Cameron groaned deep in his chest. “It’s more about control this time. It’s about wanting you in a way you’d never give to anyone else. I want to use you like a toy, I want you to be so overwhelmed with pleasure that you’ll remember everything I do to you.” 

It didn’t take much to see that Noel was into it. His body was trembling, his chest glistened with sweat, his cock twitched for attention, wet at the tip. His mouth was open as he breathed shallowly, occasionally licking his lis lips and his eyes were busy trying not to roll back into his head. Noel wanted it just as much as he did. 

“If you don’t want to, we don’t have to.” Cameron tossed the toy onto the bed. With free hands, he pulled off his own shirt, shrugged out of his jeans and briefs and stood just as naked as Noel did. “We can do it like we always do.”

“No, I want to.” Noel assured him quickly, panning his eyes down the long length of his body. “Just the gag?”

“That’s all I brought, but I still have the handcuffs you gave me last year for secret Santa.” Cameron grinned. He was giddy with excitement, eager to get him as motionless as possible. “You want that too?”

“You didn’t use them without me, right?”

Cameron knew what that meant. He was asking if he used them with Lauren. “No, I didn’t use them without you.”

Noel nodded. “Then yes, I want that too.”

Offering his hand, which Noel took instantly, Cameron led him over to the bed. He didn’t toss him down and chain him up, no. That could wait for a minute. Instead, he sat down, spreading his legs as he pulled Noel between them. His hands moved up Noel’s thighs, feeling muscle coiled under soft skin. Then his hips, which had their own small cut to them now, making them more pronounced just before the start of his abs. Also small, but there and he did what he wanted to do the moment Noel took his shirt off, he rubbed his fingertips over them, then leaned down and kissed them.

“Hmmm.” Noel hummed happily, his hands threaded into short hair. “I was hoping this would be apart of it too.”

Cameron licked up one side of his ribs to get to his left nipple. He kissed it, then swirled his tongue around it until it was hard enough to bite. “This will always be a part of it. I haven’t gotten a chance to tell you how amazing you look.”

“That makes two of us.” Noel slid one hand down the back of Cameron’s neck to his shoulders, raking his nails up and down. “You’re bigger, bulky.”

“I hope that was a complement.” Cameron snorted and moved to the other side and gave the other nipple the same treatment before he started at the base of his throat.

“Trust me, it was.” 

“Good.” Cameron licked up his throat, all the way to his chin. Then met his eyes. “I’ll get back in shape like before, just watch.”

Noel shook his head, his hands squeezing Cameron’s arms. “Please don’t. I like you like this.” 

Taking his word for it because it’s the only one that mattered to him, Cameron resumed kissing. He kissed Noel’s chin, both cheeks, his nose, his forehead and finally, finally after both his hands moved to Noel’s ass, he kissed his mouth. It was slow, sensual, like they were just getting to know each other again, instead of being old lovers. Their tongues poked at each others , testing the waters until they found a rhythm that worked. One that had Noel softly groaning into his mouth, gripping his jaw to tilt his head, driving him crazy. 

When he pulled back, he barely had time to take a breath before Noel wanted another kiss. Then another and another until they were making out like teenagers. Cameron let Noel paw at the front of his body, gripping handfuls of skin that used to be impossible to grip. It might have bothered him but Noel kept gripping, moving all along the front of his body, letting out moans of appreciation. 

It wasn’t long before the need to touch became overwhelming. Not just in a few places like they had been, but all over. Cameron had Noel in his lap within seconds, gripping the large globes of his ass before he pulled him apart just to hear that needy sound he made. With a flex of his hips he was able to rub their cocks together. Noel helped, rocking back and forth on his thighs, back into his hands then forward against his stomach. The heat created between them kept drawing them in deeper. 

“I want you.” Noel moaned when he ended the kiss with a tilt of his head and let Cameron kiss over his neck. “Do whatever you wanna do.”

Cameron moved to the other side of his neck at the same time he slipped his fingers between Noel’s cheeks. He rubbed at his hole, wishing it was wet and stretched for him so he could just slide inside at any moment. He played with him, teased him until it was quivering in want, dying to feel him. 

“No foreplay?” He asked, pulling out of his neck to see the numb look on Noel’s face. He was relaxed but eager, ready for what was to come. “Unless you want me to do all that when you’re unable to move.”

A moan was his only reply and Cameron knew that’s exactly what he wanted. Without asking for his permission, Cameron flipped him to his back. He landed with a quiet gasp, watching him with wide, hungry eyes. Cameron reached down to the bottom of the bed for the ball gag, then straddled his body. 

“Since you can’t talk with this in you won’t be able to use a safe word.” Cameron rubbed the leather against the side of Noel’s face and smiled when he leaned into it. “And we can’t do hand signals because you’ll be cuffed. Which means I will have full control over you.”

“Do we really need one?” Noel asked, running his hand up and down Cameron’s thighs. “I mean it’s not like this is gonna be a full BDSM scene.”

“No, it won’t, but I still think we should have something. We haven’t done this before where you’re gagged and your hands are tied, so I won’t know if it’s okay to keep going or not.” Cameron moved the gag to his other cheek and rubbed against it. “I won’t lie, I’m feeling like this could be intense, I’m so fucking amped up, ready to be in you… I don’t want to lose myself and you not be there with me.”

Noel nodded. “Okay, then what do we do?”

Cameron took a moment to think it over. “You can still make noise with the gag in. Humming sounds maybe. Could do it in threes if you need to stop. Or while  
you’re cuffed, you can rattle the chains three times.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Noel smiled up at him. “I’m excited.”

“Oh, I am too.” Cameron chuckled and slid up a little further until he could dig the cuffs from the drawer in his side table. He grabbed those, lube and a condom before he sat back. “Hand up above your head.”

Noel put his hands up rather quickly. Cameron leaned forward and wrapped the link on the cuffs through the thin chain the gaps of his headboard. Then he put the cuffs on each wrist, tight enough to rub his skin if he pulled too hard. He sat back, gave them a firm yank and smiled when it was secured.

“Why the chain?” Noel asked, moving to see how much slack he had.

“Because I’ll be able to flip you and twist you around to where I need you.” Cameron demonstrated by flipping him onto his stomach and slapped his ass with both hands before he flipped him back. His face was already flushed. “See?”

“Makes sense.” Noel looked away, pressing his warm face into the side of his arm. “The gag next?”

“Not yet, because I need your mouth open for this next part.” Cameron gave a sultry wink when Noel’s mouth parted in surprise. He crawled up again, all the way this time until his knees were digging into the bed on either side of Noel’s head. His balls were on his chin, his cock bobbing up and down as he moved. “Rattle them if it’s too much.”

“I will.” Noel licked his lips, then opened his mouth.

Cameron groaned automatically at the gesture. Him willingly offering himself like that was something that always took him by surprise. But he didn’t waste it. He leaned down, nearly bending in half and took his mouth in a deep, needy kiss until Noel tried to deepen it. He backed off and jerked himself a few times, watching the saliva accumulate in his mouth, then traced his perfectly shaped lips with the head of his cock. Saliva mixed with pre-come and made them look twice as shiny. Then when Noel started drooling a little, unwilling to close his mouth, Cameron angled his cock down and slowly slid between his lips.

“Fuuckk,” he drew the word out for a moment or two, his eyes busy rolling in the back of his head to realize that saliva had dripped out both sides of his mouth. He waited, pushing in slowly as Noel moaned around him. “I don’t know why this feels so much better when you’re tied down, but it really fucking does.” 

When he finally opened his eyes, Noel was looking up at him in that soft way he always use to during sex. There was a little glisten in his eye, admiration and love and trust. Cameron smiled down at him while filling his throat and caressed the side of his face. Noel nuzzled into it without moving his mouth and he rewarded him with a deep thrust in, making him gag for a moment before he pulled away. 

“Too bad I can’t fuck your mouth and your ass at the same time.” Cameron thrust again, harder this time until his balls slapped against his chin. He pushed all the way in, held it for a few seconds, then slid out. Over and over again. “If I could, I would and I wouldn’t need the ball gag. You could just keep my cock in your mouth the entire time.”

Noel moaned, spreading that vibration up his throat, past his lips and up the length of his cock. Cameron fell forward, his arm out to brace against the headboard. It gave him the leverage he needed to pump rhythmically into his mouth. Each sound was muffled, saliva coated his cock and balls, Noel’s chin too as it dripped. He thrust so hard that the headboard smacked against the wall a time or two, showing him how hard it was and he backed off. 

“It would be so easy to come in your mouth.” Cameron said with a breathy sound as he slipped out and let his cock drip onto Noel’s chest. “I’ve never had my dick sucked so fucking good before.”

Noel licked at his red lips, even rose up quickly to lick the tip of his cock before he fell back down. “Not since the last time I did it anyway.”

Cameron smiled. “Definitely not since then. Or before.” He grabbed the ball gag and showed it to him. He showed him that unlike the other simple ones, this one went all the way around his head, almost like a harness, with a red ball in the center connected to leather strips. “Still want to?”

“I haven’t changed my mind.”

“Good.” Cameron opened the straps and smiled when Noel lifted his head enough for him to put it around. He centered the gag between his lips and tightened it in the back so it didn’t slip off. When he looked at the finished product, his cock bobbed hard against his stomach. “Fuck, look at you. My own sex toy.”

Noel groaned around the ball, making a low humming noise. 

Cameron leaned down again, grabbed a handful of red hair and pulled while he simultaneously licked up the center of the ball, then over the tip of his nose. “Next time I’m going to get restraints for your legs too. Hmm?”

With difficulty, Noel nodded, showing that he wanted it too. His hips twisted, his cock leaking onto his stomach.

“Then I’ll have you all tied up, just like a Christmas present should be.” 

As he moved back down, straddling his hips instead of his chest, Cameron made sure to lather him with attention. He sucked at his neck and his chest, licked it, bit it, then downwards. Covering his nipples and his ribs, all while grinding against him, rubbing his cock against his, then his thighs. As he got lower, close to his cock, Noel began to twist, jerking from side to side as he whimpered around the ball. Cameron looked up, saw how into it he was, saw how ready he was and smiled. 

“I’m torn between wanting to call you my baby and my little toy.” Cameron admitted after he traced up the side of Noel’s cock, then down the other side to his balls. He took them into his mouth for a moment. “My slut.”

Noel gave a deep, deep moan at that, breathing harshly through his nose.

“You wanna be my slut?” Cameron asked and Noel nodded so quickly he thought he’d get dizzy. “My perfect, sexy, naughty little slut. Making me wait all these months to touch you, to fuck you, to make you come so hard you beg me to stop.”

“Mmmm.” Noel mumbled, moving his head from side to side as his face heated. 

“Fuck,” Cameron shivered at his own words and without waiting another second, when his own mouth demanded to be filled, he took Noel down all at once until his nose touched his belly. He groaned around him, forcing Noel to groan as well, then bobbed his head up and down again and again until he was trying to fuck himself into the sheets. He pulled back, panting. “I need to come so fucking bad. So bad. My cock is pulsing.”

The section of the bed below him was wrinkled, warm and a little damp. His cock hadn’t stopped leaking since all this started and after rutting into the sheets, they were damp with sweat and pre-come. He pulled the sheet a little until he could wrap the edge around his cock, then flattened himself against the bed and took Noel back down. He worked him harder this time, holding him down by his belly while he pushed into the sheet again and again. It felt like someone was gripping him, jerking him with silk.

Noel jerked again, pushing his feet into the bed as he lifted up.

Cameron choked, the movement catching him by surprise until he realized he liked the sensation. Then he slapped the side of Noel’s thigh, prompting him to lift up again and fuck into his mouth. He worked it up and down, gagging each time the head of Noel’s cock jammed into the back of his throat. His eyes watered, saliva dripped from the corners of his mouth.

It was heaven.

When he pulled back, Noel was shaking. His legs unable to hold themselves up, fell to the side. Cameron sucked in air, his hands rubbing up and down Noel’s thighs, then between his legs, teasing around his hole. He rubbed against if, keeping his eyes up as Noel threw his head back into the pillow and screamed.

“I know it’s been so long,” Cameron kissed at his thighs, his own face heating the more aroused he became. He moved lower, wiggling between his legs so he could see him. “So long since my cock has been deep inside your perfect hole. I can’t even imagine how bad you need it right now. I bet your insides are throbbing, clenching, needing me to fill you up again.”

“Yesss.” Was muffled because of the gag, but heard all the same.

“I need in you, now.” Cameron growled, his head heavy and swimming in desire. He spread Noel’s legs with his hands, spreading his ass as well. His hole was perfect, tight and a pretty dark shade of pink, just begging for his mouth. “I have to eat it.”

Noel rattled the chains enough to grip them tightly, not wanting out but needing something to ground him. 

Unable to wait, to tease him open like he always did, to take him apart slowly, Cameron slid his hands under Noel’s ass, lifted it up and pushed his tongue inside him all at the same time. He moaned at the taste, at the feel of his hole squeezing him tightly, trying to suck him in deeper. He went in deep until his jaw was smashed against his cheeks, then worked his tongue in and out quickly. 

Above him, Noel was practically screaming around the gag. It was muffled but he could hear his name being said, begging for more, for faster and deeper and to be fucked. Cameron pulled his tongue out, panting as he slipped two fingers into his loosened hole. “What a good little slut you are. Taking whatever I give you. You want It all, don’t you, slut? My mouth, my fingers, my cock…all of it.”

Noel nodded quickly, whimpering. 

“You’ll get what I give you.” He sat back up, feeling breathless and lightheaded. The lube somehow found its way into his hand. He wet his fingers and pushed back in. “This slutty hole, greed for all of me.” He worked his fingers in deeper, then crooked them until Noel jolted off the bed. “Work that ass for me. I know you want it.”

“Mmmmm.” Noel moaned and with his feet pressed into the bed, he worked himself down against his fingers. His eyes rolled back into his head. “Mmmm.”

Cameron grinned and slipped another finger in and watched his hole flutter to adjust to the thickness of three. It clenched tightly, just like he wanted it to. He didn’t wait very long, he pumped them in and out rather quickly, being egged on by the frequency of Noel’s moans, urging him to go all out. And he did, he loosened him up and worked his prostate one at a time, watching the different ways he squirmed. 

“God, I can’t wait to feel you again. Tight all around me, squeezing, begging.” Cameron moved up a few inches until his cock pushed against his moving wrist. “You want it now, or do you want me to keep teasing you?”

Noel gave an incoherent mumble. One he couldn’t decipher but when he stopped moving, Cameron figured it was him wanting it now. With their eyes locked, he slipped his fingers out of his wet hole, then teased around the rim. With his other hand, he stroked himself at the same speed, pushing into his fist, making himself believe he was fucking him. 

“I don’t know if I want to see your face while I fuck you, or pretend you’re just my toy.” Cameron said honestly, not surprised when Noel’s eyes fluttered again, in obvious understanding. “I want to see you, to hear you and feel your hands on me but then I remember all those little things and it pisses me off.”

Without warning, Cameron pulled back his hand and slapped Noel’s outer thigh with a pop. He groaned at the same time Noel did, which only made his need worse. But he meant what he said, he didn’t know how he wanted him. If he wanted to know it’s him while he pounded him into the bed or pretend he was just a toy, or someone else. Pain and love tore him in two, making it an impossible decision. 

“Nope, don’t want to see you.” Cameron said after a moment of harsh breathing. He skillfully flipped him onto his belly with a tight grip on his hips. Noel went face first, forced to turn his head to the side to breathe. “God, this is much better.”

The only thing he could see was the full length of the back of his body. Muscled shoulders that could belong to anyone, the long length of his back, then that perfect ass...that didn’t belong to anyone but Noel, just like his legs. But he couldn’t see his face and that was the point. It added to the illusion. Making it seem like he could take his pleasure in his ‘toy’ and not have to worry about satisfying it.

“Just like this.” Cameron said as he quickly grabbed the condom before he forgot, rolled it down his cock and then split Noel’s thighs with his own, wiggling up until his cock pressed into the crease of his ass. He moved back and forth a little, teasing himself as Noel breathed in deeply through his nose. Cameron jerked a pillow from the top of the bed and stuffed it under Noel’s hips, his cock trapped between the bed and the pillow. “I’m gonna use you until I can’t feel all that pain and sadness anymore. Until all I feel is pleasure.”

Noel couldn’t say anything, even humming or whining didn’t get his point across but wiggling did. He pushed down as much as possible, wanting him to keep going.

“See, you want it too, don’t you?” He leaned up so he said it right in his ear. The head of his cock pushed between his cheeks. Noel nodded, turning to look at him. “You wanna make up for all those short nights, all those times you had to leave, or didn’t show up at all. This is how you make it right.” 

The longer he stayed like that, the louder Noel became. Cameron didn’t know if that meant he agreed with what he was saying, or he just wanted it so bad he would agree to anything. It didn’t matter one way or another. He was going to get it no matter what.

Toy or not, he still knew it was Noel. His baby, his love, his everything. He couldn’t not kiss along his jaw and his cute little ears, or nuzzle the soft hair at the base of his neck. He couldn’t not kiss over his freckled shoulders and feel his arms tense from holding that same position. He HAD to. He breathed him down, it brought warmth into his body, which seemed to amp up his need. 

“I want you so fucking bad, you don’t even know.” Cameron groaned as he pushed his face against Noel’s back and used one hand to guide his cock between his cheeks, pushing right against his wet hole. “I wish I wasn’t addicted to you. I wish I didn’t need you like I do.”

Noel breathed slowly, humming. 

As he started to push in, his body realized what he was getting ready to do, what he was inches away from doing. He’d been trying so hard to not want him that he forgot just how bad he did want him. The need to give him everything he wanted was so strong, it’s who he was all the time, even now, even when this was mostly about HiS pleasure. He still wanted Noel to get as much from this as he did. 

Cameron’s mouth dropped open the moment he was inside. He used his hand on Noel’s hip to propel himself in deeper. Rocking back and forth, taking a little and giving a little until the base of his cock was barely showing, the rest nestled deep inside him. He shuddered, trying to contain the sounds he made while he waited for the need to come on the spot to pass. It took forever, or maybe only seconds of harsh breathing before he HAD to move.

“Goddamn, this ass.” Cameron growled against the back of his neck. Fully aware of the way Noel whined for him. “Nothing has ever, or will ever feel so fucking good.” Slow, tight trusts ensured he would last a while, barely moving his body, just his cock, stroking every inch inside of him. “You feel how deep I am right now?”

With a shaky whine, Noel nodded, then went face first in the pillow and gave a long, low moan. 

“Yeah, you feel it. You like my weight on top of you, strapped to my bed, so eager for me to feel good.” Cameron gave a fast thrust, getting the shocked squeal he wanted before he returned to the slow pace. “My perfect little toy.”

When the slow pace just wouldn’t do anymore, Cameron sat back on his heels, his cock nearly slipping out. He ran his palms down Noel’s back, feeling shaky, sweaty muscles tense. He pushed down, flattening his chest to the bed and moved. Short, deep thrusts, ones that made his mouth fall open for a moment, was all it would take to make him come. He could use him like a toy for about ten seconds, fill  
him up and walk away...but he couldn’t. 

“Mmmm,” Noel groaned, spreading his legs.

Cameron grinned and rewarded the good behavior with a faster pace. The faster he went, plunging in and out, the headboard began to move, slapping back against the wall. “You better not come before, slut. This is all about making me feel good. Not you.” The whine of protest was enough to spread goosebumps up his arms. “I might let you come if I’m done. If you’re good. If you make it good for me.” 

Noel squeezed his cheeks, tightening his hold. 

“Yeah, just like that.” Cameron praised, bending to kiss along his back before he pulled all the way out of him. Noel whimpered, wiggling as much as possible from his angle. “Arms hurt yet?” Noel shook his head, moaning around the gag. “They must be a little sore from that angle.” He moved out of the cradle of his body and flipped him to one side, bent his thigh in until his knee touched the bed and slipped back in with a powerful thrust. 

It was deeper that way. The angle of Noel’s thigh gave him plenty of room to get in as deep as possible without moving so much. Cameron had his entire body draped over Noel’s, his face pushed into his temple, growling, breathing heavily against him, letting him feel his weight and the power of each deep thrust.

“Mmmm,” Noel whimpered, eyes rolled back into his head.

“Fuck, that’s perfect.” Cameron slowed, looking down to watch his cock slip in and out of him, soaking wet. “I can bend and move you anyway I want.” He demonstrated by twisting Noel’s body around so he was laying on his back, but his hips were still tilted to the side and his thigh was high against his stomach. “I’ve never had it be about me like this before. It’s always been about their pleasure, your pleasure, her pleasure and I’m sick of it.”

When Noel tried to grab at him, succeeding only by a temporary grip on his hair, Cameron wiggled up until he had more access and let Noel do it again. He pulled at his hair, his nails scraping against his scalp was the perfect mix of pain in all that pleasure. It was enough for him to go harder, twisting his hips in a way that had the thigh bent against his shaking. 

“I need to get what I want.” Cameron said and met Noel’s eyes, nearly unrecognizable due to how hazy they were, full of need and lust. It jerked at something inside him to see that look, prompting him to slow the punishing pace and move Noel’s other thigh around his side until he was laying fully on his back, eyes looking up. “I miss this. I miss how your body is perfect for me. Built to have me inside you. You always take it no matter what I do, how hard it is, how deep…” he shook his head, overwhelmed with pleasure. He moved his hands to Noel’s face, caressing his cheeks. “You always make me feel so fucking good.”

Talking during sex had never really been his thing. He liked to praise when it was called for, a curse word or two here and there but Noel had always been the vocal one. And now that he pretty much spoke the entire time, getting it off his chest, the need to dominate and punish seemed to lessen, vanishing piece by piece. 

Cameron slowed again, waited until Noel’s eyes found his before he spoke softly, not growling anymore. “You want your arms free?” Noel nodded quickly, wiggling the cuffs. Cameron quickly used the safety button and he fell to the bed with a grunt. Within seconds Noel was all over him, touching him, pulling him closer, clawing at his skin. “Leave marks all over me. You know I love it.”

And he did, Noel left claw marks down the center of his chest, his sides, his upper back and against one buttcheek. Being touched again made the need inside him worse, pumping newly found adrenaline into his blood. He gripped Noel’s thighs, pulled them around on hips and flipped them over until he was laying on his back and Noel was poised above him.

“Now you get to ride me.” Cameron smacked his ass, seeing his eyes flutter for a moment before he did the same to the other side of his ass. He rubbed them, feeling the heat. “Come on, you know how I like it.”

Noel lowered himself with his help. He took him all the way down to his pubic bone, gave a muffled gasp and waited a moment to adjust to the deeper angle, then slowly started to ride. Pushing up on his thighs, then his toes, then taking him all back down again until the slap of skin echoed. Again and again he moved. Cameron kept his hands on his gyrating body. His hips, his ass, rubbing against his chest and nipples, then down to stroke his aching cock.

“Mmmmm,” Noel moaned loudly, losing his rhythm.

“Right there?” Cameron asked, grinning from ear to ear. Noel nodded quickly, mumbling around the gag so he couldn’t understand but he knew he hit that spot. “You gonna make me come, slut? That way you can come?”

Noel nodded again, then picked up the pace.

“Fuck, I need to hear you come.” He rose up, unfastened the straps to the gag and tossed it aside. Noel took a deep inhale and moved faster. “Faster, Noel. I feel It.”

“Cam.” Noel said as his very first word since this whole thing started. It sounded weak and pathetic and desperate.

Cameron couldn’t get enough of that sound. He gripped his hips, pushed his feet into the bed and plowed up into him while Noel bounced. Noel’s thighs began to shake when his arms did and Cameron could see him fighting to keep control. To not come unless he came first.

“You wanna come?” 

Noel shook his head and moved faster.

“Oh, I know you do.” Cameron jerked him again, using his pre-come as lube to go faster. “I know you wanna let go and come all over me. I know you are dying to feel me come again and again.”

“You said I had to wait.” Noel whined, his eyes closed so he didn’t look and ruin it. “Make me wait.”

“You’ll come when I want you to, and I want it right now.” He sat up, pushing his entire face into Noel’s chest, his arms sliding up from his ass to wrap around his body. “Fuck me, baby. Use me to get yourself off, don’t hold back.”

“But…” he went to argue again but gave a deep whine instead. “Cameron, please.”

The begging always pushed him over the edge. Always. He finally gave into what he really wanted, what he always wanted when they had sex, he tilted his head up and met Noel’s mouth in a heated kiss. He pushed his tongue in and stroked over his, fucking his mouth just like his cock did to his hole. It wasn’t long before Noel was coming between them, whimpering into his mouth, pulling his hair, bouncing wildly in his lap and the moment the kiss ended and he said his name in that soft, broken, breathless way, he came.

It was everything. He didn’t just feel the harsh aftershocks of his orgasm, or Noel’s hole clenching for him, he felt calm, peace, he felt whole in a way he hadn’t for a long time. He let Noel slide up and down his cock to keep those sensations flowing and couldn’t believe how good he felt. How empty his mind was, no longer plagued by all the things that stood in their way. 

“Cam,” Noel whispered, letting him hold his weight. He could barely keep his eyes open.

Cameron laid back, bringing Noel with him and then rolled until he was back on top. He pushed his face into his throat and breathed, feeling the rapid beat of his heart. “I love you so much, Noel. So fucking much.” 

Noel wrapped both arms around his neck. “I love you too, Cam.” 

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that before they moved. They shared soft touches, passionate, loving kisses. More than a smile or two. They didn’t talk so much now, just let the power of what just happened wash over them, taking it all in. When they did move apart, it was only long enough for Cameron to dispose of the condom, get another one on and he took him again, exhausted, half asleep, Noel barely able to grip his shoulders. He fucked him slowly. 

What started off as a power play turned into him having no power over himself or Noel. He felt in control of his life but powerless when it came to him. Like no matter what they did or said or didn’t do or didn’t say, that it would always end up the same way, with them tangled in soft sheets and sharing moments he’d never felt with anyone else before. 

Cameron was slowly losing this fight. Just like he did all the other ones, only if he lost the last fight, he knew they would be over for good and that was what terrified him the most. Losing Noel would be like losing pieces of himself, the biggest piece, his heart, his soul, his happiness.

You can’t choose who to love or when, it just happened and it didn’t always end up like it was planned. It was hard and painful and it made you so happy at times and left you in despair at others but that’s when you know it’s real. That’s when you know you have to fight for it no matter what.


End file.
